Words Of Affirmation

Words of affirmation I believe are one of the greatest gifts we can give those we love. The holidays are an excellent time of year to focus on the heart of the season which is beauty, child-like faith and sharing the good news with those you love.

From a standard point of view, the power of the spoken word is immeasurable. Words of affirmation, when done correctly, move people from a place of feeling superficially appreciated to experiencing deep value. Anyone who knows me personally understands I don’t care too much for what I call “fluffing or champing.” It’s that stuff we say to people that come across as flattery and frankly is unsincere. It’s about external beauty, possessions, and man-pleasing.

However, when you really want to begin to change someone identity wise, you look for authentic talents, inner beauty and characteristics that you see in them that will bring them to a place of seeing themselves as God see’s them. Deeply valuable.

So, this Christmas or on birthday’s, consider writing words of affirmation to someone sharing with them what is about them that set’s them apart and makes them extraordinary to you. Here are a couple of ways that you can help affirm them identity wise the right way.

Finish these sentences:

  1. One of the things I appreciate most about being your mother, friend is…..
  2. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think…..
  3. I feel like I won the lottery when I see you doing this for others….
  4. When I think of a faithful friend, I reflect on how you do this….
  5. Because of how you do this…, it makes me realize how blessed I am to have you in my life.
  6. I feel so thankful and grateful about this part of you…..
  7. I have the best memories of this time with you….
  8. I constantly see you operate in this spiritual gifting or natural one and it amazes me….
  9. The passion you have for this just amazes me….
  10. When I think of you, I see this picture…..

There are no rules to this, and you don’t need to worry about being a poet or a writer. Here’s the truth. Your letter may be the one thing that this person holds onto and reads during times of discouragement and trials. It could be the conversation starter to a whole new relationship and beautiful season with someone you love. Now get started writing!

Love, Bec:)

The Four Phases Of Spiritual Warfare

The moment you decide you want your life to matter for God’s glory, you’re going to get spiritual resistance. It doesn’t matter whether you are pastoring a church or using your business in a way that glorifies God.  When you get saved, you have entered an unseen battle.  

And here is the thing. Many times, people do not understand as they seek to transform lives for Christ, how much of the spiritual breakthrough they receive and are able to give others, is directly related to them recognizing how to deal SPIRITUALLY and PRACTICALLY with the tension they are receiving. You have to do both at the same time or you can’t pass the tests God is providing for you by his grace. 

In the process of overcoming my challenges (because I had a lot of poverty mindsets when I came to Christ due to growing up in an alcoholic  home) and equipping and releasing thousands of others to the same;  I began to notice what I called phases to people being able to overcome their own obstacles and influence others. 

This is not “secret sauce” revelation or levels that are set in stone. I didn’t provide a ton of scriptures with this because it’s a blog but if I do provide them in my book. This is just me trying to break things down practically for you from a practical perspective what resistance you have to overcome to become a kingdom influencer. Satan wants to take you out before you’re empowered to transform others with your testimony or God-given message. 

Phase 1: The first assignment is to prevent you from building any spiritual family, support, or relationships that are equipping you to walk in the your identity in Christ rather than self-help. 

You will have to choose not to get offended, overcome the feelings of rejection you experience, and resist complaining. You might not have clarity on your life, purpose, or vision. You may even be in survival mode.  If you have not had positive experiences with authority figures or groups, and you will stay stuck at this first level until you learn to forgive yourself and the people who have hurt you.  This first phase will try to WEAR YOU OUT EMOTIONALLY with victimization thinking. You will struggle with feeling insignificant to God and others.  You will be double-minded, angry, and insecure during this phase. It seems like two steps forward, one step back. Many times people never mature past this level because Satan takes them captive with bitterness against organizations (even churches) and keeps them spiritually wandering. They will not be able to find their place in the body of Christ and stay isolated. 

Phase 2: The second assignment is to cloud your vision, discourage you from pursuing your deepest heart desires, and create emotional barriers between you and kingdom people. 

Satan attempts to remind you of the rejection from the last season and tells you what a waste of time it is to practice the presence of God. (This is to keep you from following the Father’s voice consistently until you receive transformation). Many times people are still dealing with escapism in the form of oversleeping, food, video games, hobbies, and addictions because their identity in Christ needs to be solidified.  Poverty-mindsets such as no joy, judging yourself and others, overwhelm, and enabling are standard for this phase. You could have friends that enable your poor choices. This is because you’re still learning how to let the right people into your life to challenge you and you don’t have tight accountability.   I notice people in this phase deal with a lot of cluttered living environments, workstations, and relationships that leave them feeling like they are not living intentionally. You also may deal with not being able to manage your time well or say no to things outside your vision. This is because you are still wrapped up in people pleasing. 

Phase 3: The third level of spiritual warfare is to prevent you from abiding in the correct spheres of authority and establishing your influence through prayer. 

There is a big difference between being released by God as opposed to men. Being released from God comes from a revelation of your identity and knowing God’s affirmation. Positions, titles, and degree’s come through positional authority delegated to you by man. For women who feel called to carry power spiritually with men, this is usually a deal breaker place. This is a time where you begin to become an actual threat to Satan. You are now in a position to pray with power and become a TRUTH BEARER to others. You will be used to convict people’s heart to the point where they have to either conform to Christ or push Him away. This happens because you know the Word of God, more of your identity, and you haven’t been able to be uprooted through your flesh because of offense. You are now willing to be persecuted for what you believe. The tension here comes because you are experiencing rejection for the sake of Christ and getting delivered from people-pleasing. This is a place where all real leaders have to go to be launched correctly. When I was in this phase, I was labeled a “Jezebel” by people who were threatened by my emerging new identity.  This is also the place where you will face generational strongholds, possible racial injustice, temptation towards sexual immorality, and dark soul loneliness for your calling. In some parts of the world, people are martyred for their faith because of this alignment.

Phase 4: The fourth level of spiritual warfare comes to test your commitment to the call of God on your life, boldness and your willingness to pay the price for the freedom of others.

It is here that you begin to multiply your kingdom influence.  You’re being commissioned to teach and impact others through preaching, speaking, and writing, the mechanisms that will lead to exponential multiplication. Your authority at this level is to subdue the whole earth (Gen 1:28) through your resurrection message (The story and the testimony that you have of the transformation Christ brought you). Often much of the warfare is the clarity, the confidence without being brash, and the identity that you are going to reproduce in others. During this phase in my life, I experienced an identity theft for almost a million dollars, and every relationship that was dear to me went through the fire. It revealed the loyalty to the mission God had given me and the mindsets of those who were going to support my next authority level and the ones that weren’t. You cannot quit on your mission assignment or your calling due to other people misunderstanding WHO God has called you to be. I remember telling those around me during this season God was calling me to a new mission, PRAYER & COACHING. Within one year of moving through this warfare, I launched my Christian coaching business, which now serves people internationally. I also got hit with a lot of health issues during this phase which seems to have been a great tactic the enemy continually tries to discourage me with. (I like to be outside being active, so I herniated disc’s, struggled with massive dehydration when I ran, and ridiculous challenges to steal my joy). The oppression /depression comes to try and slow you down and dilute your message from being spoken boldly. Many times if you’re not careful you will internalize oppression as an IDENTITY.  You have to fight to keep hope for your focus and move forward into multiplication in this phase.

Love, Bec:)

P.S. I hope this was a blessing to you. I have so many people share they thought they were crazy due to the non-stop tension they get. Spiritual warfare always makes you feel like that!  You can receive this whole book on PDF absolutely free by going here for a limited time only! If you want to transform people in ministry or business through coaching or speaking, this book will help you solidify your leadership identity and grow through your adversity with a SMILE! If after you print it out and read it, you decide you want to order a paper copy or buy one for a friend, you can do so here.  

 

Marketing For Christian Coaches

Marketing doesn’t have to be difficult. You do this by taking the time to translate your identity in Christ into a brand. The results of understanding your identity in Christ are enormous! It will help you grow in intimacy with God because you know how deeply he can be trusted. It will help you  overcome obstacles God’s way rather than striving and honestly, to do spiritual warfare correctly so you can break generational curses and set huge goals for your life that will glorify Christ. At a higher leadership level it will equip you to formulate your own vision and the momentum to complete it. This is why when you become a Christian, understanding your identity in Christ is so important.

Marketing your coaching business out of your boldest identity zones enables you to do the same thing. It will help you take the work Christ has given you as a testimony, identify it and then help you magnetize clients out that story. This is the same work a Pastor has to do to church plant. Every church has a unique identity and mission to make disciples and you do too. This is why you want to niche tightly in the beginning of your coaching.

It’s about not “preaching or selling to people” but rather serving them in such a way that they are drawn authentically to what you are offering. When you are pastoring a church, you have in person meetings at a set time on Sunday where people can come and listen at no cost to the revelation and training you have to give your members. If you are casting a strong vision under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and investing your financial and time resources well, your congregation will grow and they will willingly give their money to see the vision completed. This is authentic church growth. And might I add has the addition of the Holy Spirit on it with unity to confirm his presence.

I believe a Christian business is run the exact same way. We aren’t selling, we are serving. If you own your own faith based business you need to have consistent service that is dependable and people can count on, to be able to create an awareness in your audiences mind on who they become if they partner with you, continue to add programs that are going to help your clients grow and for you to use the same kind of identity words in your business over and over again until it becomes a recognized name. You have a platform that you use to communicate with your audience daily and weekly. This is the heart of marketing. Simply being able to serve CONSISTENTLY.  Your business or ministry is just an extension of the specific identity results that you help people get who partner with you.

Today, I wanted to share the simple schedule I use for marketing my business and serving my clients on a weekly basis.

Consistency = Credibility. If you can remember that as a foundation for your business, you will be wildly successful without hype and with peace.

I use 3 media outlets consistently: My Facebook business page, Twitter & LinkedIn.

I link them to a simple schedule vehicle called Hootsuite. This enables me to schedule in one place my posts without going to each individual outlet. You can get started with the personal account with Hootsuite with about $10.00 a month. And really, when you’re first starting out, you don’t need anymore than this. It takes me approximately 1 hour to schedule one day’s worth of posts.

Once a week I blog about either prayer, identity, leadership teaming or growth for coaches. I write my post within Michael Hyatt’s website theme, Getnoticed. I have used a lot of themes, I like this one a lot and it’s easy to use.

I sent out my blog with a little note to my subscribers through Aweber. Aweber helps me serve my clients weekly. Typically, I sent this out on Tuesday or Wednesday.  It’s my “Pastoral” platform where I help them stay consistent with their leadership and how to grow their influence with peace.

Hope this gives you a feel for how simple this can be! Let me know if you have any questions.

Love, Bec:)

Strategic Identity Words For Social Media Influence

When I first started out in coaching, I didn’t understand how to influence people authentically through social media.  Truthfully, I looked at Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social sites as more like a distraction. So I want to share with you a couple of statistics about why using social media correctly is a successful lead generation tool and a significant way to grow the kingdom of God with grace.

Social Media is a leading tool that people create, communicate and attract people to their brand. The beauty of it is YOU can help people form a new positive and Christ-like identity by just creating an atmosphere on your personal page or business that people want to identify with. More so, you can incorporate this into your mission statement and branding work when you’re ready to launch your business.

In a new survey conducted in September 2015, the Pew Research Center  did a study that revealed Facebook remains by far the most popular social media site. Those on Facebook remain highly engaged with 70% saying they log on daily, including 43% who do so several times a day. Here’s what is at the heart of social media: We engage in it:

  1. To bring valuable and entertaining content to others. 49% say sharing allows them to inform others of products they care about and potentially change opinions or encourage action.
  2. To define ourselves to others. 68% share to give people a better sense of who they are and what they care about.
  3. To grow and nourish our relationships. 78% share information online because it lets them stay connected to people they may not otherwise stay in touch with.
  4. Self-fulfillment. 69% share information because it allows them to feel more involved in the world.
  5. To get the word out about causes or brands. 84% share because it is a way to support causes or issues they care about.

To authentically influence people without hype:

Don’t => Process out pain on Facebook, how victimized you are or who you are irritated with politically. This will magnetize all the individuals to you who are passive aggressive and angry. By the way, this works in your personal life too. You don’t want to build a platform or brand this way.

Success=> Circle out 15. From the 15 pull out 3. Put it on a sticky note and from this point on, everything you share “identity-wise” will wrap around these three core values. In the comment box below, list your three!

Ability Abundance Acceptance Accomplishment Achievement Adaptability Adventure Affection Affluence Alertness Ambition Anticipation Appreciation Approachability Artfulness Assertiveness Assurance Attentiveness Audacity Availability Awareness Awe Balance Beauty Being-ness Belongingness Benevolence Blissfulness Boldness Bravery Brilliance Briskness Buoyancy Calmness Camaraderie Candor Capability Care Carefulness Certainty Challenge Charity Charm Chastity Cheerfulness Clarity Classy Cleanliness Cleverness Closeness Cognizance Comfort Commitment Compassion Competence Complacency Completion Composure Concentration Confidence Conformity Congruency Connection
Consciousness Consistency Contentment Continuity Contribution Control Conviction Conviviality Coolness Cooperation Copiousness Cordiality Correctness Courage Courtesy Craftiness Creativity Credibility Cunning Curiosity Daring Decisiveness Decorum Deepness Deference Delicacy Delight
Dependability Depth Desire Determination Devotion Devoutness Dexterity Dignity Diligence
Diplomacy Direction Directness Discernment Discretion Discipline Discovery Discretion Diversity
Dreaming Drive Duty Dynamism Eagerness Economy Ecstasy Education Effectiveness Efficiency Elation Elegance Empathy Encouragement Endurance Energy Enjoyment Enlightenment Entertainment Enthusiasm Exactness Excellence Excitement Exhilaration Expectancy Expediency Experience
Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Extravagance Extroversion Exuberance Evolution Facilitating Fairness Faith Fame Fascination Fashion Fearlessness Fidelity Fineness Finesse Firmness Fitness Flexibility Flow Fluency Fluidity Focus Fortitude Frankness Freedom Friendliness Frugality Fun
Gallantry Generosity Gentility Genuineness Giving Grace Gratefulness Gratitude Gregariousness
Growth Guidance Happiness Harmony Health Heart Helpfulness Heroism Holiness Honesty Honor Hopefulness Hospitality Humility Humor Hygiene Imagination Impact Impartiality Impeccability Independence Industry Ingenuity Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Inspiration Instinctiveness
Integrity Intelligence Intensity Intimacy Intrepidness Introversion Intuition Intuitiveness Inventiveness
Joy Judiciousness Justice Keenness Kindness Knowledgeableness Lavishness Leadership Learning
Liberation Liberty Liveliness Logic Longevity Love Loyalty Majesty Mastery Maturity Meekness Mellowness Meticulousness Mindfulness Moderation Modesty Motivation Mysteriousness
Neatness Nerve Obedience Open-mindedness Openness Optimism Opulence Order Organization
Originality Outlandishness Outrageousness Passion Peacefulness Perceptiveness Perfection Perseverance Persistence Persuasiveness Philanthropy Piety Playfulness Pleasantness Pleasure
Plentiful-ness Poise Polish Popularity Potency Practicality Pragmatism Precision Preeminence
Preparedness Presence Privacy Proactivity Proficiency Professionalism Prosperity Prudence Punctuality Purity Qualification Quietness Quickness Realism Readiness Reason Recognition Recreation Refinement Reflection Relaxation Reliability Resilience Resolution Resolve Resourcefulness Respect Restfulness Restraint Reverence Richness Rigor Sacredness Sacrifice Sagacity Saintliness Sanguinity Satisfaction Security Self-control Selflessness Self-realization Self-reliance Sensitivity Sensuality Serenity Service Sexuality Sharing Shrewdness Significance Silence Silliness Simplicity Sincerity Skillfulness Smartness Sophistication Solidarity Solidity Solitude Soundness Speed Spirit Spirituality Spontaneity Stability Stillness Strength Structure Substantiality Success Sufficiency Support Supremacy Surprise Superb Supremacy Sympathy Synergy Tactfulness Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Thrift Timeliness Traditionalism Tranquility Transcendence Trust Trustworthiness
Truth Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Utility Valor Variety Victory Vigor Virtue Vision
Vitality Vivacity Warmth Watchfulness Wealth Wholesomeness Willingness Winning Wisdom Wittiness Wonder Worthiness Zeal Zest Zing

Are you thinking about or ready to become a Christian coach or speaker? Get my START NOW package which includes my book, 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare and a free audio on what you need to have in place to grow your first $25,000 in Christian coaching!

How To Hear From God For Your Business

This morning in prayer I had a couple of practical questions for God about how to multiply my results and what to focus on delegating out first. I want you to know how to hear from God for your business so that you can feel his presence and enjoy his presence all day long, not just in your prayer time.

I was reading about the Samaritan woman this morning and how offended Jesus disciple’s got that God would care enough to speak to someone who was in the middle of so much sin. Worse, he seemed to make not judging or condemning people a pattern and loved reaching out to individuals who were stuck in their own sin. Very annoying to the religious establishment:)

God just spoke to me this morning and said, “Becky, I want you to share something this morning from me today because my people are missing out on so much from me”.
Here’s the thing.

Your business is just another stewardship from God. The way he sent me to serve his people is through entrepreneurship in the business realm. Pioneer Preachers wake up in the morning with a desire to become pastors and entrepreneurs wake up with a desire to grow their businesses. Both these vocations should be stewarded in their owner’s hearts the same way the church is stewarded. With respect and thanksgiving.

I want you to hear my heart here because if you can catch this mindset, it is going to help you learn how to hear from God for your business as well as give you opportunities to point people towards him in an authentic way.

First, and God told me to share this with you. Personally. Don’t read this sentence like I am blogging to the multitudes. I am speaking to YOU from GOD DIRECTLY. He said:
“Tell him/her I miss them. That I would like to spend the day with them. That I want to speak directly to them all day long and I care AND WILL TELL THEM what to do first, second and third in their life in business. They don’t have to go it alone, and I actually love being with them. It’s not a chore for me.”

Now, for those of you who didn’t receive that because you instantly thought of all the bad things you have done lately. Holy Cow. That’s the evil one speaking to you, not God. Please don’t come with this mindset that God isn’t going to talk to you if you don’t perform properly. What would be the point of the cross if we have to wait to be perfect before we hear from God? When will you ever be perfect enough?

Today, tomorrow block time to ask God the questions that you would ask a million dollar business coach. Believe he will answer this for you or send you someone to answer it for you. Let me know what you think!

Love, Bec:)

8 Tips On How To Get Started Speaking In Your Community

There are a lot of small business ideas that people come up with to attract clients, but speaking needs to be at the top of your list. Speaking gives your clients an opportunity to experience the power of coaching and activate their faith for more of what work they want to do in their life.

It’s well worth the time you will put into training. Public speaking is one of the main characteristics of powerful and influential men and women. I have been reading a book this week called Giants about the parallel lives of Frederick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln. These two men broke through the racial tension in their generation and here’s what this has to do with you and me.

Both these men were illiterate and poverty stricken. The way they broke out of these poverty mindsets was to invest hours a week into learning how to speak in an influential way.

1. Do not be afraid to speak for free for at churches. Again, just ask ahead if you can share with the audience what you have going on to serve them if they want more. Bring your coaching manual with you and just have a few available for people to see. Pastors WANT to help their people grow, and they appreciate people coming in and lifting the leadership load off of them. Great examples of who to reach out to are the men’s and women’s groups, addiction or recovery, career transition, business teams, singles, widows, the over 50 classes. Create a template to reach out to churches with, ask your friends for specific names and send off the letters to reach out. Just remember to always follow up with a phone call within a week.

2. Speak in your local community. Business networking groups (there are a ton), Lions Club, Athletic Organizations, Kiwanis, Newcomers Clubs, Chamber meetings, local college campus organizations. The list is endless. These groups always need speakers and are open to being contacted. You need to be bold and get pictures while you’re there. You can use them in your marketing later on.

3. Send a private message to everyone you know on Facebook, letting them know your topic and that you would be honored to serve them at no cost in their home with their friends or in their ladies groups at church and work. Likewise, let people know on Twitter that you speak at no cost locally. Better yet, develop a speaking page on your site and tweet that once or twice a week.

4. Make a little prayer card in the morning with this scripture, and I pray it over yourself daily. I saw myself speaking and serving people even though the conduit was through business; my heart is ministry. I got this from Colossians 4:3 if you want reference.

Lord, I ask you to open a door for my message, so that I may proclaim the mystery of Christ. Use my business to bring people to you. Give me favor before even unsaved people.

5. When you finish speaking for one organization, ask the individual who invited you for one or two referrals. You can also let people know right from the platform that you speak and have an incentive for individuals who can give you a name to connect with.

5. Create a short video and use it for your site and for pitching potential prospects. This is great for sending to conference leaders.

6. Let the professional organizations you are part of know that you are available for speaking. This is a wonderful way to serve and to open up new speaking opportunities.

7. Do your own Saturday presentation and speak for one hour. Advertise it on social media and through your existing platform. You will gain clients, learn how to create copy and create momentum for your business.

8. Drop in on receptionists and professionals and offer to do a lunch and learn for their teams. This can require a little investment on the front end and some cold calling but pay out big with larger corporate clients. I did this when I was a top-performer in sales.

Okay, so these are no cost business ideas that require nothing but boldness. Make sure you cultivate on the back-end by ALWAYS having a free PDF or audio to give to people if they sign up for your newsletter. Pass that around the room while you are speaking.

Ready to begin transforming lives through Christian coaching with your message? You can START NOW. I personally meet with you to pray and give you next steps for your business!

Love, Bec:)

Passive Aggressive Behaviors

Watch out for passive aggressive behaviors in your life and business. It will kill your clarity, momentum, and the truth is YOU are responsible as a Christian to guard your peace. If you can’t do that then you are going to make fear-based choices that will sabotage any vision you try and establish.

At the heart of permitted this behavior in your life is a lack of leadership or ability to ask the questions that will have to make controlling individuals recognize that they have violated your boundaries.  Typically people who are passive aggressive have grown up in homes where one parent was controlling or addictive, and the other parent was a passive/enabler.  This person is usually SATURATED with idolatry (idolatry is when we seek the comfort of anything other than the Holy Spirit. E.I. Alcohol, food, drugs, people pleasing)  and it won’t come down without you really being willing to stand through the tension.

Passive aggressive people expect to be disrespected or taken advantage of eventually, so they jump to conclusions when there is the least amount of miscommunication or mistakes made. They BELIEVE they are disrespected at the core of their identity and it’s become WHO THEY ARE IDENTITY WISE. They are also great at excuse making about their behavior which is why it takes so much energy and time to deal with these kinds of people. If this is in your response patterns, you have to get militant about addressing this as it has most of the time been in your family for generations. Most of the time if it’s addressed,  they not only deny it but turn it around so that you feel shamed or doubt you saw it.

Passive aggressive leaders surround themselves with enablers, so it’s classic crazy town banana pants feeling for anyone who attempts to address it. The challenge in business is time is money, so honestly, you have to evaluate if this is the kind of partnership you want in your life as it’s a massive financial leak to your profits and marketing.

So, how do you know you’re dealing with a leader or business owner who is passive aggressive? Here’re some characteristics:

They tell you they are going to take care of it but “forget” regularly. 

They triangulate to others in the family in team rather than directing their questions to the person who can change the situation.

They act like a victim of everything that happens that doesn’t go their way. 

Everything seems fine and then all the sudden they just email you about how disappointed they are with you or your performance.

They keep pushing the boundaries until you explode because they don’t want to be the one who initiated the conflict.

They ask you to deal with confrontation for them because they are too busy or you are “great” at being diplomatic.

They won’t deal with individuals one on one but rather address the offense in a group setting by alluding to the problem.

You will hear them always complain about how they are not respected, or they just keep getting taking advantage of over and over again.

They cut people off relationally, but then when they see them publicly in front of others they pretend all is well.

They show favorites depending on who is affirming them.

They can point out every little detail of how you failed but don’t take any ownership in how they failed to lead.

They always have an excuse for why they couldn’t finish a project or why it didn’t work out.

They are not interested from a business perspective in doing a better job. You will need to let them go when you begin to see these patterns. 

So how do you deal with these kinds of friends, business acquaintances, and family in your life? First of all, address their behavior as passive-aggressive but guard your heart and time with them! If you decide to confront them, have in mind the decision or action you will be taking ahead so that you get to put it in play. Most of the time, these individuals do not want to change or take ownership so distancing yourself is the only option.

Next, don’t second guess yourself. Passive aggressive people have a way of making you feel like it’s your fault when they are minimizing or manipulating you. If you think uh-oh feeling, most likely, you are right. Pray for them to receive the truth but again, don’t come under the fear they try to intimidate you with. Limit your time with them unless they acknowledge their issues.

Lastly, and this is the most important. You HAVE to set very clear boundaries with them without guilt. If they are attempting to control you, just let them know up front precisely what actions you will be taking and then EXECUTE every time. If you don’t, you have taught them that you are negotiable.

Remember, boldness means you can’t back up when there is tension. Hold your ground, establish your authority and stay focused on your mission. Don’t let passive aggressive people distract you from accomplishing the work that God has put you here for!

Have you considered becoming a Christian coach or speaker? Sign up for my START NOW package where I pray with you, give you some thoughts on how you can get started and yes, I have resources if you decide to move forward!

Faith Forward! Bec:)

5 Reasons You Should Get Started Writing That Coaching Program

Writing your own coaching manual is one of the greatest ways to multiply the work of grace Christ has done in your life. If I had someone share with me the information that I am going to tell you today, I would have never struggled with blocking time to get started writing. It has grown my business profitably and I have been able to use my testimony on how God set me free to point to Christ.

So here’s the truth. God sometimes calls people to influence in super-spiritual ways; I am not disputing that. Maybe they have some vision or prophetic word that they will be influencers or they have a call to ministry. And then there is all the rest of us that God just gives this nagging feeling to that won’t go away; that feels more like a desire to start a business that we can share our testimony in a blogs, books, coaching or speaking. For some reason, if it’s a desire then it is so much easier to ignore or think it’s “flesh.”  But here’s the thing. Desires are planted by the Lord, and if your heart is to see people set free, this is just as valid as some mystical experience.

Let me assure you, whether you have strong impressions in prayer, idea’s that you think would help others build success or just that ordinary nagging, won’t go away feeling the way I did; this is the Holy Spirit nudging you to write down your thoughts and processes into a precise form. So, it’s important that you yield to this, the same way you would yield to God asking you to deal with some aspect of your old nature. God leads, we follow.

Why Some People Talk About Transforming Lives But Never Do It

I have noticed that the more people struggle with needing affirmation from others, the longer they talk and don’t take action to pioneer their own thing. After coaching hundreds of people through this process, it boils down to one issue. They are afraid to put their leadership out there for people to inspect because all deep down most of us are scared of getting found out that we are deceiving ourselves, all our hard work will amount to nothing or that worse, people don’t agree with our theology, think we are prideful and slam us publicly. (Been there done that:)

The first year of blogging I did for my business was terrible! I had a friend of mine who was an English teacher go through it them with a red pen, and I cried reading her comments. But here’s the thing. After I kept writing and kept coaching by faith, it helped me define my brand and helped me identify my boldest identity zones. I had so many people tell me that year that my coaching deeply changed them that it confirmed to me I was in the will of God. The bottom line is if God has spoken to you about coaching, writing your programs or even books for speaking, it is now about what God wants to use you for and not whether you feel like developing it or you don’t have time, resources put aside or the confidence.  It’s about you being obedient, activating your faith and stepping into a place and position where you can be used as a conduit for God’s message.

Here Are Five Reason’s To Get Started Writing That Blog, Book Or Course Work

1. Writing a book or developing a training course is about WHO God is sending you to transform.

I believe this is why most people who say, “I’m going to write a book, speak or create a training program someday,” never cast their vision, block time to write and FINISH in a deadline (Because the truth is you can have the never-ending perfectionistic project). It’s because it’s still about them and they are getting spiritual warfare! When you have a revelation that the Lord is trying to activate you to bring him glory, you will find the time to get up at 4 am if you have to write, bump the lunches so you can write while you are at work and otherwise do what you have to do to finish it.  You will be able to push through the fear of the whole thing being a complete failure because you now have become OBEDIENT and now it’s up to God on what to do with it.

2.  Developing your blog, book or course work will force you to identify your BOLDEST IDENTITY zone. This is the place you are most anointed to serve people in.

I just spoke at the Georgia Christian Counselors Association about growing extra income streams for your business. You grow profitably because you stay in the RIGHT ZONES that God has graced you with. Here’s what I see happen again and again. We all have resurrection stories that glorify Christ and lead people to HIM. There is anointing on your testimony because it is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. When you take the time to harness this and give your audience a step-by-step system for break-through, the results are BOLD. It’s because your brokenness is the place God wants to use, not your knowledge. This is why you don’t have to worry about it being too simple or not theologically deep enough. Write about your pure illumination from the Lord and watch how what the enemy meant for evil, God turns for his GLORY!

3.  Writing a book, coaching or developing courses is about God using you now in the small things. In your closest friendships, in your neighborhood, and in your city.

Holy Cow. Don’t even get me started here with the professional speaking friends I have whose big city published books are sitting in their garage affecting NO ONE. You don’t have to be published by supernova Christian book publisher to begin transforming people’s lives. You can start blogging for around $500 or  self-publish your first book like I did and see if it affects people for the kingdom BEFORE you invest $20,000 into a bigger publishing venture. Let’s be clear; your book is about GOD touching people, not fame, fortune and the big bucks you will make. Quit worrying about who will publish it and the cover, layout, and editing. Just get started writing and finish it and God will give you all those steps when you need them.

4. Writing down your strategies will make you such a better communicator. You will feel so thankful that you took that leap of faith to develop your own content and brand. 

There is no better feeling than looking back over the places that Satan has kicked your butt with and getting the satisfaction of seeing the Lord lifted high 100 times for all the ten times that the devil stole from you. WOOT! It’s a beautiful, overcoming, dance in the living room, sing in the car, your victory song! There is something so powerful that happens when you take that thought that has been floating around in your heart and head, and you put it down on paper. It comes to life, and now it can be multiplied. Many times I have written a blog, someone saw it and then invited me to speak on the subject, or they emailed me from halfway around the world telling me it ultimately set them free. It is true that you will magnetize to you what you develop the clarity for, if you share it consistently, it will get even bigger.

5. It will be one of the most fulfilling things you have ever done, and you will look back and THANK GOD for the grace he gave you to get it out of you. 

When I look at the transformation that God has brought my clients through my books, I am so humbled by his grace. Every time I take a new client through my team or use it when I speak,  I pause and say, “Only you Oh, Lord”. And we all know this, but only God can take the simple things and give people profoundly, life-altering deliverance with it. I don’t want ever to be the kind of person who is looking back and wondering what it would have been like to obey God fully. I want the whole adventure. Risk, success, and failure.

Ready to get started developing your vision to transform people for the kingdom? Begin with my START NOW package. I personally follow up with everyone who I send this to you!

Now get started writing!

Love, Bec:)

3 Tips On How To Rule Your Kingdom With Grace

Here’s the bottom line. If you want to live purposefully, you have to be intentional with who you spend your time with. So what do you do when you are building success, but you find there are people around you who are not only distracting you from what God has called you to but giving you a hard time when you communicate your vision to them?

It’s helpful first to understand what the “kingdom” is within you. You see, it’s not this ethereal realm that is mystical for only the super-spiritual people who God really loves. Simply put, whatever you can decide yes or no with… Is your effectual rule.  Ultimately, boundaries are meant to protect your heart and the people under your influence. If you want to influence people authentically, this is a very important revelation for you.

We alone are responsible through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to place boundary stones in pleasant places. It is your identity in Christ to live a significant and fruitful life but only if you consistently enforce it. If you make commitments and break them frequently, now you are perceived as an inconsistent person, and you lose influence and credibility.

 Next, as you grow, one of the situations you might encounter is people around you become fearful that you are going to abandon them if you experience more success. Most of the time, fear and insecurity will manifest as sarcasm, snarkiness, passive control or even individuals cutting you off relationally if you set boundaries that challenge them.

How to reset new boundaries with old friends 

1. It is up to you to help them understand in a grace-filled way, that you are growing in your leadership.

 Remember, you can never EXPECT people to get about you “identity-wise” if you don’t COMMUNICATE and ENFORCE it every-time. Sometimes we think we are very clear with people when the truth is, our actions are not lining up with the identity we profess. It’s not enough to tell people where you would like; you have to teach them by your consistent actions.

The first thing to do in this case is go before God when you are not stressed and determine the 3 to 5 boundaries that you are not willing to compromise on.  The last thing you want to do is sabotage yourself by backing down and creating a situation where the person expects you to not follow through on what you say you are going to do. When I am working with my private clients, I usually keep them at 3 core boundaries as your aim is to reframe the one house, not build a whole new subdivision in one document.

For example, if you feel like this friend or client is habitually making commitments and then backs out at the last minute, you can see that they probably don’t value themselves or their time very well.  When you reschedule to do something with them without bringing up the first situation where they didn’t honor your time, you have now taught them that this is an acceptable pattern for you. So, here’s how to do with grace. When you schedule the second event with them, tell them that you really value spending time with them, but you would appreciate it 8 hours before you are supposed to get together with them, they would text you or confirm by email that the meeting is still on. If they do not text you and you really like them, text them and ask them if you are still on. If they do not respond, you do not head out for this appointment. If they show up and blame you, simply state what the expectations were with confirming the times. And, consider that this is not a person you want in your close friend circle or professional relationship as they will not be consistent with their word in small things. If people can’t be consistent and execute on little things, they will not execute on what’s important to you or them. This is not an individual that will help you birth your dreams.

2.  Begin by telling the people around you where you are going and that you are so excited about creating a thriving, peaceful and stable life.  This means you have to do the work to clarify your goals and vision for the next one to five years. Dig down into developing an idea that will cause you to joy and then start smiling and praying about it daily. That’s faith. I would even include in this vision what kind of people you want to partner with and how you will recognize them when they come into your life. You have to be practical when you reset boundaries. For example, they will tell you how much they appreciate spending time with you by being punctual:). Once you have done the internal work, then watch yourself become more confident, and you will begin to attract more of this kind of people into your life rather than the one’s that sabotage you.

3. Decide what kind of friend and business partner you’re going to be for other people now that you don’t like the old identity.  Up your leadership by requiring from yourself what you want in a friend. It’s biblical. And don’t cut yourself slack. If you want loyal friends who can speak the truth to you in love, then be that for them. If people are struggling with people pleasing or rejection, sometimes this prevents them from communicating when their feelings or hurt. Write a list of WHO you are identity wise and choose to build a bold character. Here’s a couple I require from myself.

I am: someone who prioritizes prayer; I am fit, I laugh at myself, I am surrounded by faithful, loyal, successful women and men. I value giving back and serve fully and to be the best of my ability, when I make a mistake, I say I am sorry. I value relationships over being right. I finish what I start. I eat the fruit of my labor. (Feel free to go on and on:) 

You can rearrange boundaries with grace. Just remember, when you grow into a stronger identity,  it can be threatening to other people. You will create a tension, and people will be forced into two positions. They will either have to disconnect from you because they are not willing to accept this new change in you or best case scenario they will choose to grow themselves and affirm the new identity God is working in your life. Do not hold back rearranging the boundaries that bring you joy because you are afraid people will not like the new you. God does it all the time for my clients and will do it for you!

The best way to determine who is going with you into your next season is to begin moving in the direction you believe God is calling you into. START NOW  to push back all the spiritual warfare you are getting and influence more people authentically.

Love, Bec:)

How To Lose Weight With Normal Foods

One of the things I teach my clients when they are preparing to launch a business is how to build a lifestyle of leadership as an entrepreneur. Here’s the bottom line, I am working most of the day and when I am not coaching or traveling, I am outside with my two neigh-neighs. I need my energy level high and have ZERO time to spend mentally on counting points or micro-managing my eating patterns.

Don’t get into the mindset of DIETING. Your mindset focus IS BUILDING YOUR LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCING AUTHENTICALLY!

Here’s an overview of what I encourage my clients to do when they are ready to start de-fluffing after the holidays.

Think long-term and don’t say the word diet ever again. You’re not going to starve. You’re going to change your daily habits to eat healthy and do something that ramps your cardio daily. Walk a couple miles, carry poop around in a wheelbarrow for half-hour from your horses, do yoga, whatever is building strength and getting you moving consistently. I alternate all of these daily and thorough-out the week. I am not trying to be a body builder. I am trying to look professional when I speak or coach and stay active into my nineties!!

I like real butter and don’t use anything fat-free including milk. I just use it in small amounts and when I cook vegetables, dinner or make smoothies, I use coconut milk. Much healthier.

Generally I stay away from sugar and eat really simply. When I want to drop a couple pounds I cut out potatoes, rice and focus on smoothies, salads without dairy and simple broth and meat for dinner with a couple vegetables thrown in. I also make my own muffins that I eat instead of bread.

When people ask me to get together, I ask them to bring their walking shoes so we walk after eating.  Stop eating when you’re full enough to make it through 3 to 4 hours. Usually a protein and vegetable will accomplish that like piece of fish and broccoli for lunch or dinner.

Here’s a recipe for my favorite muffins. I make these at the beginning of the week so I can have one a day with soup or when I get hungry.

Quinoa Muffins

2 cups Quinoa flour

1 cup oat flour

1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp baking powder

Himalayan salt, I put in a pinch

3 Tbsp Coconut oil

2 Cups organic milk or coconut milk

2 tbsp molasses

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Preheat over to 400 and put in muffin paper things. (LOL, you can tell I am not the gourmet cook)

Bake for about 15 minutes or until they look brown and firm. Hide from children:) or you won’t have any left for you.

Enjoy the muffins, I do!

 

 

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