Identity In Christ: The Warfare Begins With This

Spiritual Warfare From Building New Identity from Becky Harmon on Vimeo.

Many Christians don’t recognize spiritual warfare. I know I didn’t in the beginning of my walk with Christ. They wonder if they can really build a new bold identity and break out of decades worth of sabotaging patterns.

Satan is a crafty catty. He knows what to say to you so that you think it’s YOUR IDENTITY speaking to you. No one ever breaks down the exact statements he uses to keep you stuck and exactly what you need to do quickly to resist and stand strong until your new identity is solidified.

Here’s the truth, you know you’re tapping into the will of God for your life when you’re uncomfortable, you’re having to risk failure and you’re doing what you’re doing for the sake of others. When it’s about YOU and your kingdom, you want to stay comfortable, safe and have lots of security.

In five minutes,  I break down for you exactly how to recognize the warfare and how to pray against it so you can focus on your new identity rather than praying out your problem!

Ready to start building YOUR new identity? I’m here for you to make it happen, safely and with all the support you need in my Bold Identity team!  Join me now! 

How To Create An Expectations Document

An expectations document is important to send to your new client as they begin coaching with you. It helps you communicate what you expect as people come into your programs and how they can be successful. It also gives clear instructions on what they can expect from you and how you will serve them.

We cannot expect what we are not communicating clearly and consistently and as you take time to develop this, you will see how this benefits you in avoiding tension. It will also help your clients feel safe as they know exactly what their boundaries are and what they can expect from you as far as execution, pace and goals.

I have expectation documents for my personal coaching programs, all my teams and the results have been fantastic. Rarely is there miscommunication, disappointment or do I have clients ask me for refunds. It doesn’t happen because this one document helps them understand quickly if they are a good fit for my programs and what I can help them accomplish if they follow my instructions exactly.

Here is an example from my foundational leadership program, Bold Identity that I had for my first coaching business, SUCCESSnotsabotage. It will give you an idea of what you want to include in yours.

Welcome to The Bold Identity Team!

A monthly Christian leadership and coaching program for mindset training. Your three main goals in this team will be to become consistent in prayer, fitness and communicating boldly a clear vision.

Our team focus

The Bold Identity team was our first program we launched to help Christian’s build success through their identity in Christ. We have taught these principles to the upwards of hundreds of people with powerful results. Our testimonies point to the grace God has given us to help you break out of decades of sabotaging patterns into long-term CONSISTENT success.

This team requires no ongoing commitment financially and you can come in and go out at your pace and desire.

Every Friday, the chapter for the week is loaded (We recycle through 8 chapters) and often times I will load a video to accompany it and give you additional homework for team discussion. I will be in and out the team the whole week, typically at lunch time or in the evening reading over your work. I will acknowledge your post by liking it and if I feel like I can give you a quick tweak, I will add something to your post.

Every month, I do a live, free conference call that will be announced. The recording is uploaded into our team and you have free access to it even if I turn it into a paid product.

We rotate through this content every 8 weeks because often times where there have been inter-generational strongholds, you cannot learn the concept, deep enough to have change in one training session. I want to give you time to have your identity solidified which is why I have made this team so affordable. Depending on your focus and intensity, it can take many months to practice and integrate the principles we share. Failing, trying again and then building success. This is normal in leadership coaching.

During the week, one of my team facilitators will be here to help with small topics and questions that come up and if you have a question, you can tag Hena or myself and we will try and answer it as quickly as possible. Again, the focus for this team is vision casting, growing in prayer consistency, fitness and communicating boldly. We want you to establish your leadership, solidify your identity here and become a person who finishes what you start so even though we load training video’s on various topics occasionally, most of your training will be around these three core applications.

Because we have people from all different kinds of denominational beliefs, we ask that you share your thoughts in a considerate and kind way if you disagree with what others have posted. We are not a therapy group!!! You are free to process out pain by sharing difficult things you are going through, but we are a coaching team. If you come across like you are not taking enough ownership, you can be guaranteed we will ask you to take an action. It is not our job to chase you in this team to be on the calls, post and engage. We cultivate leaders who will coach and speak and carry authority so we expect you to take ownership in our team.

You will be asked to facilitate and lead a call to cultivate your leadership!

You will get out of this team what you put into it.  You will be asked to facilitate our team material in order to help you grow as a leader. First key, read the chapter in your prayer time. Share with us a bit about yourself (5 minutes or less) and then be prepared to talk about what kind of mindsets and actions the team can take to be successful from your perspective. Also, pray for your people who will be showing up. That God would anoint you to SERVE THEM POWERFULLY. I want to help you learn how to be a conduit in this team and I will give you feedback on how you presented yourself as a leader, ask you questions so you can communicate to the team your thoughts in a clearer way and I will not leave you on the line alone. We will facilitate together! 

If you are not completely satisfied with our team in the first 30 days and you have done all the work and were on all our calls, we will refund your money, no questions asked. After you are in our team for a month, and you decide to stay, we do not refund money nor will any successful coaching company as your results are based on your effort.

If you decide to leave our team, YOU MUST CANCEL YOUR SUBSCRIPTION ON PAYPAL.  We do not cancel your subscription for you. When you cancel your membership, you will be removed out of the team.

We appreciate and pray for everyone in our team. Please know however, when it comes to matters of faith, and all the clients I serve, I cannot endorse any speaker, video, blogger that is shared in our group. I don’t hinder people loading content but unless it’s loaded by me, it’s not an endorsement from me.

Lastly, if you are a coach or speaker, do not load your own content, teleconferences, etc. in my teams. That would be rather cheesy as you are using my teams to promote your brand. Also, do not solicit my clients for your own business. I love helping my clients grow their own brands but I have another team for that and I will show you how to do your own lead generation. If I find out you have solicited my clients, I will promptly remove you off my list and teams.

Any questions? You can email me at….

Do you need help growing your first $25,000 in sales? Let me send you my START NOW package which includes my entire book, 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare that addresses the tension all Christians go through to become influencers as well as a free audio on what you need in place to be successful as a Christian coach.

8 Questions To Clarify The Will Of God For Your Life

I just want to share the goodness of grace of God with you today if you are searching for more purpose. Good news!  Not that you’re wandering or anything but Christ spoke to people in the midst of their sin and had conversations with them when they were OUT OF HIS WILL. 

This mindset of needing to be perfect before God directs your life generally comes from performance-based thinking. The deep abandonment, loneliness and isolation individuals feel who have had to raise themselves emotionally or spiritually. You see it’s your biblical inheritance and identity to feel deeply loved, guarded, valued and guided by your Dad. I majored in Criminology and I can tell you we had many discussions on how fatherless homes impact the prison system.

When you grow up having to pioneer life yourself, with little or no affirmation, you struggle deeply with people pleasing.  Nothing is ever quite good enough. You’re always second guessing yourself and other people’s motivations. Without healing,  this carries into poverty mentalities and self- sabotaging behaviors. Why? Because you’re always striving to perform for your Father and get that need to feel your Father’s pleasure, that only he can fill.  Today I want to give you 8 questions you can take to God so that you begin to receive the healing you need and be settled in his will for your life. He will do this for you immediately.

You have to be able to practice going to God when you feel unworthy and writing down into a journal what you think you hear back from him. This helps you solidify your identity in GRACE rather than in your ability to get things right!

1. Father, do I still feel like I am trying to be a “Good Christian”?

If so, memorize the scripture I did,  Hebrews 4; 4-7. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Every time you worry you messed up or are jealous of other’s people’s success, understand this is coming from your lack of fathering. It’s normal. You just need to repent of striving for that approval and quiet your heart by speaking the word to it. This is spiritual warfare to keep you in a place where you keep trying rather than trusting. Use the word as balm over the loneliness you feel. If you are in Christ, you are accepted and you have received an A if you are attempting to grow and learn from your mistakes. There is no B, C, D, F. All your failures will be used by God to glorify him if you stay humble and teachable. Trust me on that one!

2. Will you illuminate me to people-pleasing in my life?

This question kills the fear of man in your life and brings you to the point where you stop performing for Jesus and people. This means you’re ready to go to him daily, read the word, ask him about specific direction and how you are to proceed. Your going to obey what your heavenly father says to you from the word of God and what you hear in prayer. This question will bring you to the place where people pleasing will end and you will learn how to move forward into the will of God on what people confirm to you that God has first spoken to you.  It may mean you drop out of activities that look very pious and you spend time focusing on the things that he is revealing to you to focus on. This is one of the most life changing questions to ask your Father. Trust when you ask, he is going to speak and write down what you feel like he says to you. You’re going to obey God fully now.

3. Will you place in the body of Christ as you see fit? I am prepared to build intimate relationships that will challenge me to be uncomfortable. 

It’s hard to push past the jealousy you feel when you see other people thriving and you’re on survival mode. Again, this is normal for what you’ve been through but you have to choose to not withdraw out of fellowship when you feel lack or that you’re not performing well. If not, then you’re opting for a mask and that will just delay you being able to hear the will of God for your life. Be honest with where you’re at with people and ask for feedback into area’s of your life, parenting and leadership that you want to get better at. No one expects you to know everything if you have grown up fatherless so don’t put that on yourself. Find a church and believers that you can be real with.

4. Father, in this season, WHO do you want me to send to mentor me?

This is again is another one of the questions that will fast track you OUT OF being a prodigal son. People who are fatherless are marked by isolation. They try to do everything themselves, they resist asking for help because they want to come across as having everything together. This is again because everything is a competition to them. When you are a true son or daughter your life is measured by who you help feel significant around you. Watch for opportunities to invest in mentoring with people doing what you want to do. I have always paid for training for myself to grow and you might have to also.

5. Father, how would you like me to prepare for the promotion you want to bring me?

God is a good Father and desires to bring you good things. He gives to everyone various talents and gifts to help them enjoy life and serve others. If he has given you a desire to learn, get as much education as you can. If you love to work with your hands and be outside, then go get certified in welding, mechanical work or whatever technical trade that will allow you to be the best you can. If you need an identity boost, join the military. Do you want to get paid to coach or speak?  In the family of God, there is always a preparation that goes before authority. There is a pace to preparation, ask God to help you enjoy every season you’re in without feeling like you’re not going fast enough or doing a good enough job but do prepare and don’t sabotage yourself by saying you don’t have the resources. Decide what you need to be successful and figure out how to fund it.

6. Father, am I processing my pain by medicating with food, drugs, or any other addiction that is creating a barrier between you and I?

When you grow up in a Fatherless or fear based home, it takes training to learn how to go to God instead of the idolatry that has comforted you. If you keep medicating the ache in your heart, then God cannot heal you. Again, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus but God wants better for you. If you want to walk in authority, you have to learn how to DO the things that will cause you to walk in spiritual power rather than the world’s crutches.  Learning how to process pain correctly is one of the first things we teach new clients who come into our programs as it gives you an ability to move successfully through spiritual warfare.

7. Father, am I looking for “success” or “significance”? 

This sometimes is hard to discern but here’s my take on it. If you are willing to compromise your personal convictions and the spiritual and emotional health of those around you, then you are striving for success. When we are married, you need your spouse to help you gauge the temperature of your family. If you are single, this is where your closest spiritual friends are going to help you navigate this. I know in my life, I have always had a restlessness about me to live a “bigger and deeper life”. I have no problem saying that. However, the older I have gotten, the more I go to the Lord in prayer to worship Him, while I do the practical things to bring it to pass. I then try and prepare at a comfortable pace for where I believe will help me be able to steward the next level of influence. I can honestly say, you can only feel significant from living an un-compromised life before God and doing it with people beside you that you love.

8. Father, do I feel minimized or resentful when those around me gain success or want to launch off of what they learned from me? 

Individuals who are fatherless always have to be in control. They take it personally when someone leaves their church or organization to lead their own stuff. Most of the time, this is because they have built success around their charisma and loss created insecurity.  When we truly have the heart of a father or mother, we rejoice that we have invested well enough that our employees, children or clients can leave us to grow their own vision. We state like the apostle Paul did, I know how to be blessed and I know how to be in lack. It’s all about what the father desires and what will glorify him in a greater way. We are all on the same team when we are in Christ.

Again, just want to encourage you to keep pressing through the muck that clouds your leadership. God has  incredible things for you planned and wants to use YOU to influence others for his kingdom. The discouragement often times is just spiritual warfare to wear us down and get us to quit. Don’t. I am praying for you and we are here to help you process through into success! If you have considered Christian coaching to grow an income stream, get my START HERE package and let me mentor you on the steps you need to take to do it successfully.

Love, Bec:)

Only The Courageous Affirm Others

Words of affirmation I believe are one of the greatest gifts we can give those we love. The truth is you must be very secure as well as emotionally healthy to affirm others. Especially if they are doing better then you are or you are feeling a bit limited. The holidays are an excellent time of year to focus on the heart of the season which is beauty, child-like faith and sharing good news:)

From a leadership perspective, the power of the spoken word to cause someone to grow more courageous is immeasurable. Words of affirmation, when done correctly, move people from a place of feeling superficially appreciated to experiencing deep value. Anyone who knows me personally understands I don’t care too much for what I call “fluffing or champing.” It’s that stuff we say to people that come across as flattery and frankly is insincere. It’s about external beauty, possessions, and man-pleasing.

However, when you really want to begin to change someone identity wise, you look for authentic talents, inner beauty and characteristics that you see in them that will bring them to a place of seeing themselves as God see’s them. Deeply valuable.

So, this Christmas or on birthday’s, consider writing words of affirmation to someone sharing with them what is about them that set’s them apart and makes them extraordinary to you. Here are a couple of ways that you can help affirm them identity wise the right way.

Finish these sentences:

  1. One of the things I appreciate most about being your mother, friend is…..
  2. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think…..
  3. I feel like I won the lottery when I see you doing this for others….
  4. When I think of a faithful friend, I reflect on how you do this….
  5. Because of how you do this…, it makes me realize how blessed I am to have you in my life.
  6. I feel so thankful and grateful about this part of you…..
  7. I have the best memories of this time with you….
  8. I constantly see you operate in this spiritual gifting or natural one and it amazes me….
  9. The passion you have for this just amazes me….
  10. When I think of you, I see this picture…..

There are no rules to this, and you don’t need to worry about being a poet or a writer. Here’s the truth. Your letter may be the one thing that this person holds onto and reads during times of discouragement and trials. It could be the conversation starter to a whole new relationship and beautiful season with someone you love. Now get started writing!

Love, Bec:)

The Four Phases Of Spiritual Warfare

The moment you decide you want your life to matter for God’s glory, you’re going to get spiritual resistance. It doesn’t matter whether you are working for a church or a mom who wants to follow Christ and be a faithful wife.  When you get saved, you have entered an unseen battle.  

And here is the thing. Many times, men and women who just want to live purposely in the will of God, do not understand as they seek to grow in confidence in a Godly way, how much of the spiritual breakthrough they receive and are able to give others, is directly related to them recognizing how to deal SPIRITUALLY and PRACTICALLY with the tension they are receiving. You have to do both at the same time.  

In the process of overcoming my challenges (because I had a lot of poverty mindsets when I came to Christ due to growing up in an alcoholic  home) and equipping and releasing thousands of others to the same;  I began to notice what I called phases to people being able to overcome their own obstacles and influence others. 

This is not “secret sauce” revelation or levels that are set in stone. I didn’t provide a ton of scriptures with this because it’s a blog but if I do provide them in my Bold Influencers Training Course and book.  This is just me as a coach, trying to break things down practically for you concerning the exact resistance you have to overcome to become a kingdom influencer. Satan wants to take you out before you’re empowered to transform others with your testimony or God-given message. 

Phase 1: The first assignment is to prevent you from building any spiritual family, support, or relationships that are equipping you to walk in the your identity in Christ rather than self-help

You will have to choose not to get offended, overcome the feelings of rejection you experience, and resist complaining. You might not have clarity on your life, purpose, or vision. You may even be in survival mode.  If you have not had positive experiences with authority figures or groups, and you will stay stuck at this first level until you learn to forgive yourself and the people who have hurt you.  This first phase will try to WEAR YOU OUT EMOTIONALLY with victimization thinking. You will struggle with feeling insignificant to God and others.  You will be double-minded, angry, and insecure during this phase. It seems like two steps forward, one step back. Many times people never mature past this level because Satan takes them captive with bitterness against organizations (even churches) and keeps them spiritually wandering. They will not be able to find their place in the body of Christ and stay isolated. 

Phase 2: The second assignment is to cloud your vision, discourage you from pursuing your deepest heart desires, and create emotional barriers between you and kingdom people. 

Satan attempts to remind you of the rejection from the last season and tells you what a waste of time it is to practice the presence of God. (This is to keep you from following the Father’s voice consistently until you receive transformation). Many times people are still dealing with escapism in the form of oversleeping, food, video games, hobbies, and addictions because their identity in Christ needs to be solidified.  Poverty-mindsets such as no joy, judging yourself and others, overwhelm, and enabling are standard for this phase. You could have friends that enable your poor choices. This is because you’re still learning how to let the right people into your life to challenge you and you don’t have tight accountability.   I notice people in this phase deal with a lot of cluttered living environments, workstations, and relationships that leave them feeling like they are not living intentionally. You also may deal with not being able to manage your time well or say no to things outside your vision. This is because you are still wrapped up in people pleasing. 

Phase 3: The third level of spiritual warfare is to prevent you from abiding in the correct spheres of authority and establishing your influence through prayer. 

There is a big difference between being released by God as opposed to men. Being released from God comes from a revelation of your identity and knowing God’s affirmation. Positions, titles, and degree’s come through positional authority delegated to you by man. For women who feel called to carry power spiritually with men, this is usually a deal breaker place. This is a time where you begin to become an actual threat to Satan. You are now in a position to pray with power and become a TRUTH BEARER to others. You will be used to convict people’s heart to the point where they have to either conform to Christ or push Him away. This happens because you know the Word of God, more of your identity, and you haven’t been able to be uprooted through your flesh because of offense. You are now willing to be persecuted for what you believe. The tension here comes because you are experiencing rejection for the sake of Christ and getting delivered from people-pleasing. This is a place where all real leaders have to go to be launched correctly. When I was in this phase, I was labeled a “Jezebel” by people who were threatened by my emerging new identity.  This is also the place where you will face generational strongholds, possible racial injustice, temptation towards sexual immorality, and dark soul loneliness for your calling. In some parts of the world, people are martyred for their faith because of this alignment.

Phase 4: The fourth level of spiritual warfare comes to test your commitment to the call of God on your life, boldness and your willingness to pay the price for the freedom of others.

It is here that you begin to multiply your kingdom influence.  You’re being commissioned to teach and impact others through preaching, speaking, and writing, the mechanisms that will lead to exponential multiplication. Your authority at this level is to subdue the whole earth (Gen 1:28) through your resurrection message (The story and the testimony that you have of the transformation Christ brought you). Often much of the warfare is the clarity, the confidence without being brash, and the identity that you are going to reproduce in others. During this phase in my life, I experienced an identity theft for almost a million dollars, and every relationship that was dear to me went through the fire. It revealed the loyalty to the mission God had given me and the mindsets of those who were going to support my next authority level and the ones that weren’t. You cannot quit on your mission assignment or your calling due to other people misunderstanding WHO God has called you to be. I remember telling those around me during this season God was calling me to a new mission, PRAYER & COACHING. Within one year of moving through this warfare, I launched my Christian coaching business, which now serves people internationally. I also got hit with a lot of health issues during this phase which seems to have been a great tactic the enemy continually tries to discourage me with. (I like to be outside being active, so I herniated disc’s, struggled with massive dehydration when I ran, and ridiculous challenges to steal my joy). The oppression /depression comes to try and slow you down and dilute your message from being spoken boldly. Many times if you’re not careful you will internalize oppression as an IDENTITY.  You have to fight to keep hope for your focus and move forward into multiplication in this phase.

Saddle up your horses! We have a trail to blaze together! 

P.S.  If want become BOLD and STAY bold, join our team and receive weekly confidence training,  in a faith-filled community. First weeks training is FREE!



Strategic Identity Words For Social Media Influence

When I first started out in coaching, I didn’t understand how to influence people authentically through social media.  Truthfully, I looked at Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social sites as more like a distraction. So I want to share with you a couple of statistics about why using social media correctly is a successful lead generation tool and a significant way to grow the kingdom of God with grace.

Social Media is a leading tool that people create, communicate and attract people to their brand. The beauty of it is YOU can help people form a new positive and Christ-like identity by just creating an atmosphere on your personal page or business that people want to identify with. More so, you can incorporate this into your mission statement and branding work when you’re ready to launch your business.

In a new survey conducted in September 2015, the Pew Research Center  did a study that revealed Facebook remains by far the most popular social media site. Those on Facebook remain highly engaged with 70% saying they log on daily, including 43% who do so several times a day. Here’s what is at the heart of social media: We engage in it:

  1. To bring valuable and entertaining content to others. 49% say sharing allows them to inform others of products they care about and potentially change opinions or encourage action.
  2. To define ourselves to others. 68% share to give people a better sense of who they are and what they care about.
  3. To grow and nourish our relationships. 78% share information online because it lets them stay connected to people they may not otherwise stay in touch with.
  4. Self-fulfillment. 69% share information because it allows them to feel more involved in the world.
  5. To get the word out about causes or brands. 84% share because it is a way to support causes or issues they care about.

To authentically influence people without hype:

Don’t => Process out pain on Facebook, how victimized you are or who you are irritated with politically. This will magnetize all the individuals to you who are passive aggressive and angry. By the way, this works in your personal life too. You don’t want to build a platform or brand this way.

Success=> Circle out 15. From the 15 pull out 3. Put it on a sticky note and from this point on, everything you share “identity-wise” will wrap around these three core values. In the comment box below, list your three!

Ability Abundance Acceptance Accomplishment Achievement Adaptability Adventure Affection Affluence Alertness Ambition Anticipation Appreciation Approachability Artfulness Assertiveness Assurance Attentiveness Audacity Availability Awareness Awe Balance Beauty Being-ness Belongingness Benevolence Blissfulness Boldness Bravery Brilliance Briskness Buoyancy Calmness Camaraderie Candor Capability Care Carefulness Certainty Challenge Charity Charm Chastity Cheerfulness Clarity Classy Cleanliness Cleverness Closeness Cognizance Comfort Commitment Compassion Competence Complacency Completion Composure Concentration Confidence Conformity Congruency Connection
Consciousness Consistency Contentment Continuity Contribution Control Conviction Conviviality Coolness Cooperation Copiousness Cordiality Correctness Courage Courtesy Craftiness Creativity Credibility Cunning Curiosity Daring Decisiveness Decorum Deepness Deference Delicacy Delight
Dependability Depth Desire Determination Devotion Devoutness Dexterity Dignity Diligence
Diplomacy Direction Directness Discernment Discretion Discipline Discovery Discretion Diversity
Dreaming Drive Duty Dynamism Eagerness Economy Ecstasy Education Effectiveness Efficiency Elation Elegance Empathy Encouragement Endurance Energy Enjoyment Enlightenment Entertainment Enthusiasm Exactness Excellence Excitement Exhilaration Expectancy Expediency Experience
Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Extravagance Extroversion Exuberance Evolution Facilitating Fairness Faith Fame Fascination Fashion Fearlessness Fidelity Fineness Finesse Firmness Fitness Flexibility Flow Fluency Fluidity Focus Fortitude Frankness Freedom Friendliness Frugality Fun
Gallantry Generosity Gentility Genuineness Giving Grace Gratefulness Gratitude Gregariousness
Growth Guidance Happiness Harmony Health Heart Helpfulness Heroism Holiness Honesty Honor Hopefulness Hospitality Humility Humor Hygiene Imagination Impact Impartiality Impeccability Independence Industry Ingenuity Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Inspiration Instinctiveness
Integrity Intelligence Intensity Intimacy Intrepidness Introversion Intuition Intuitiveness Inventiveness
Joy Judiciousness Justice Keenness Kindness Knowledgeableness Lavishness Leadership Learning
Liberation Liberty Liveliness Logic Longevity Love Loyalty Majesty Mastery Maturity Meekness Mellowness Meticulousness Mindfulness Moderation Modesty Motivation Mysteriousness
Neatness Nerve Obedience Open-mindedness Openness Optimism Opulence Order Organization
Originality Outlandishness Outrageousness Passion Peacefulness Perceptiveness Perfection Perseverance Persistence Persuasiveness Philanthropy Piety Playfulness Pleasantness Pleasure
Plentiful-ness Poise Polish Popularity Potency Practicality Pragmatism Precision Preeminence
Preparedness Presence Privacy Proactivity Proficiency Professionalism Prosperity Prudence Punctuality Purity Qualification Quietness Quickness Realism Readiness Reason Recognition Recreation Refinement Reflection Relaxation Reliability Resilience Resolution Resolve Resourcefulness Respect Restfulness Restraint Reverence Richness Rigor Sacredness Sacrifice Sagacity Saintliness Sanguinity Satisfaction Security Self-control Selflessness Self-realization Self-reliance Sensitivity Sensuality Serenity Service Sexuality Sharing Shrewdness Significance Silence Silliness Simplicity Sincerity Skillfulness Smartness Sophistication Solidarity Solidity Solitude Soundness Speed Spirit Spirituality Spontaneity Stability Stillness Strength Structure Substantiality Success Sufficiency Support Supremacy Surprise Superb Supremacy Sympathy Synergy Tactfulness Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Thrift Timeliness Traditionalism Tranquility Transcendence Trust Trustworthiness
Truth Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Utility Valor Variety Victory Vigor Virtue Vision
Vitality Vivacity Warmth Watchfulness Wealth Wholesomeness Willingness Winning Wisdom Wittiness Wonder Worthiness Zeal Zest Zing

Are you thinking about or ready to become a Christian coach or speaker? Get my START NOW package which includes my book, 4 Phases of Spiritual Warfare and a free audio on what you need to have in place to grow your first $25,000 in Christian coaching!

How To Hear From God For Your Business

This morning in prayer I had a couple of practical questions for God about how to multiply my results and what to focus on delegating out first. I want you to know how to hear from God for your business so that you can feel his presence and enjoy his presence all day long, not just in your prayer time.

I was reading about the Samaritan woman this morning and how offended Jesus disciple’s got that God would care enough to speak to someone who was in the middle of so much sin. Worse, he seemed to make not judging or condemning people a pattern and loved reaching out to individuals who were stuck in their own sin. Very annoying to the religious establishment:)

God just spoke to me this morning and said, “Becky, I want you to share something this morning from me today because my people are missing out on so much from me”.
Here’s the thing.

Your business is just another stewardship from God. The way he sent me to serve his people is through entrepreneurship in the business realm. Pioneer Preachers wake up in the morning with a desire to become pastors and entrepreneurs wake up with a desire to grow their businesses. Both these vocations should be stewarded in their owner’s hearts the same way the church is stewarded. With respect and thanksgiving.

I want you to hear my heart here because if you can catch this mindset, it is going to help you learn how to hear from God for your business as well as give you opportunities to point people towards him in an authentic way.

First, and God told me to share this with you. Personally. Don’t read this sentence like I am blogging to the multitudes. I am speaking to YOU from GOD DIRECTLY. He said:
“Tell him/her I miss them. That I would like to spend the day with them. That I want to speak directly to them all day long and I care AND WILL TELL THEM what to do first, second and third in their life in business. They don’t have to go it alone, and I actually love being with them. It’s not a chore for me.”

Now, for those of you who didn’t receive that because you instantly thought of all the bad things you have done lately. Holy Cow. That’s the evil one speaking to you, not God. Please don’t come with this mindset that God isn’t going to talk to you if you don’t perform properly. What would be the point of the cross if we have to wait to be perfect before we hear from God? When will you ever be perfect enough?

Today, tomorrow block time to ask God the questions that you would ask a million dollar business coach. Believe he will answer this for you or send you someone to answer it for you. Let me know what you think!

Love, Bec:)

8 Tips On How To Get Started Speaking In Your Community

There are a lot of small business ideas that people come up with to attract clients, but speaking needs to be at the top of your list. Speaking gives your clients an opportunity to experience the power of coaching and activate their faith for more of what work they want to do in their life.

It’s well worth the time you will put into training. Public speaking is one of the main characteristics of powerful and influential men and women. I have been reading a book this week called Giants about the parallel lives of Frederick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln. These two men broke through the racial tension in their generation and here’s what this has to do with you and me.

Both these men were illiterate and poverty stricken. The way they broke out of these poverty mindsets was to invest hours a week into learning how to speak in an influential way.

1. Do not be afraid to speak for free for at churches. Again, just ask ahead if you can share with the audience what you have going on to serve them if they want more. Bring your coaching manual with you and just have a few available for people to see. Pastors WANT to help their people grow, and they appreciate people coming in and lifting the leadership load off of them. Great examples of who to reach out to are the men’s and women’s groups, addiction or recovery, career transition, business teams, singles, widows, the over 50 classes. Create a template to reach out to churches with, ask your friends for specific names and send off the letters to reach out. Just remember to always follow up with a phone call within a week.

2. Speak in your local community. Business networking groups (there are a ton), Lions Club, Athletic Organizations, Kiwanis, Newcomers Clubs, Chamber meetings, local college campus organizations. The list is endless. These groups always need speakers and are open to being contacted. You need to be bold and get pictures while you’re there. You can use them in your marketing later on.

3. Send a private message to everyone you know on Facebook, letting them know your topic and that you would be honored to serve them at no cost in their home with their friends or in their ladies groups at church and work. Likewise, let people know on Twitter that you speak at no cost locally. Better yet, develop a speaking page on your site and tweet that once or twice a week.

4. Make a little prayer card in the morning with this scripture, and I pray it over yourself daily. I saw myself speaking and serving people even though the conduit was through business; my heart is ministry. I got this from Colossians 4:3 if you want reference.

Lord, I ask you to open a door for my message, so that I may proclaim the mystery of Christ. Use my business to bring people to you. Give me favor before even unsaved people.

5. When you finish speaking for one organization, ask the individual who invited you for one or two referrals. You can also let people know right from the platform that you speak and have an incentive for individuals who can give you a name to connect with.

5. Create a short video and use it for your site and for pitching potential prospects. This is great for sending to conference leaders.

6. Let the professional organizations you are part of know that you are available for speaking. This is a wonderful way to serve and to open up new speaking opportunities.

7. Do your own Saturday presentation and speak for one hour. Advertise it on social media and through your existing platform. You will gain clients, learn how to create copy and create momentum for your business.

8. Drop in on receptionists and professionals and offer to do a lunch and learn for their teams. This can require a little investment on the front end and some cold calling but pay out big with larger corporate clients. I did this when I was a top-performer in sales.

Okay, so these are no cost business ideas that require nothing but boldness. Make sure you cultivate on the back-end by ALWAYS having a free PDF or audio to give to people if they sign up for your newsletter. Pass that around the room while you are speaking.

Ready to begin transforming lives through Christian coaching with your message? You can START NOW. I personally meet with you to pray and give you next steps for your business!

Love, Bec:)

Passive Aggressive Behaviors

Watch out for passive aggressive behaviors in your life and business. It will kill your clarity, momentum, and the truth is YOU are responsible as a Christian to guard your peace. If you can’t do that then you are going to make fear-based choices that will sabotage any vision you try and establish.

At the heart of permitted this behavior in your life is a lack of leadership or ability to ask the questions that will have to make controlling individuals recognize that they have violated your boundaries.  Typically people who are passive aggressive have grown up in homes where one parent was controlling or addictive, and the other parent was a passive/enabler.  This person is usually SATURATED with idolatry (idolatry is when we seek the comfort of anything other than the Holy Spirit. E.I. Alcohol, food, drugs, people pleasing)  and it won’t come down without you really being willing to stand through the tension.

Passive aggressive people expect to be disrespected or taken advantage of eventually, so they jump to conclusions when there is the least amount of miscommunication or mistakes made. They BELIEVE they are disrespected at the core of their identity and it’s become WHO THEY ARE IDENTITY WISE. They are also great at excuse making about their behavior which is why it takes so much energy and time to deal with these kinds of people. If this is in your response patterns, you have to get militant about addressing this as it has most of the time been in your family for generations. Most of the time if it’s addressed,  they not only deny it but turn it around so that you feel shamed or doubt you saw it.

Passive aggressive leaders surround themselves with enablers, so it’s classic crazy town banana pants feeling for anyone who attempts to address it. The challenge in business is time is money, so honestly, you have to evaluate if this is the kind of partnership you want in your life as it’s a massive financial leak to your profits and marketing.

So, how do you know you’re dealing with a leader or business owner who is passive aggressive? Here’re some characteristics:

They tell you they are going to take care of it but “forget” regularly. 

They triangulate to others in the family in team rather than directing their questions to the person who can change the situation.

They act like a victim of everything that happens that doesn’t go their way. 

Everything seems fine and then all the sudden they just email you about how disappointed they are with you or your performance.

They keep pushing the boundaries until you explode because they don’t want to be the one who initiated the conflict.

They ask you to deal with confrontation for them because they are too busy or you are “great” at being diplomatic.

They won’t deal with individuals one on one but rather address the offense in a group setting by alluding to the problem.

You will hear them always complain about how they are not respected, or they just keep getting taking advantage of over and over again.

They cut people off relationally, but then when they see them publicly in front of others they pretend all is well.

They show favorites depending on who is affirming them.

They can point out every little detail of how you failed but don’t take any ownership in how they failed to lead.

They always have an excuse for why they couldn’t finish a project or why it didn’t work out.

They are not interested from a business perspective in doing a better job. You will need to let them go when you begin to see these patterns. 

So how do you deal with these kinds of friends, business acquaintances, and family in your life? First of all, address their behavior as passive-aggressive but guard your heart and time with them! If you decide to confront them, have in mind the decision or action you will be taking ahead so that you get to put it in play. Most of the time, these individuals do not want to change or take ownership so distancing yourself is the only option.

Next, don’t second guess yourself. Passive aggressive people have a way of making you feel like it’s your fault when they are minimizing or manipulating you. If you think uh-oh feeling, most likely, you are right. Pray for them to receive the truth but again, don’t come under the fear they try to intimidate you with. Limit your time with them unless they acknowledge their issues.

Lastly, and this is the most important. You HAVE to set very clear boundaries with them without guilt. If they are attempting to control you, just let them know up front precisely what actions you will be taking and then EXECUTE every time. If you don’t, you have taught them that you are negotiable.

Remember, boldness means you can’t back up when there is tension. Hold your ground, establish your authority and stay focused on your mission. Don’t let passive aggressive people distract you from accomplishing the work that God has put you here for!

Have you considered becoming a Christian coach or speaker? Sign up for my START NOW package where I pray with you, give you some thoughts on how you can get started and yes, I have resources if you decide to move forward!

Faith Forward! Bec:)

5 Reasons You Should Get Started Writing That Coaching Program

Writing your own coaching manual is one of the greatest ways to multiply the work of grace Christ has done in your life. If I had someone share with me the information that I am going to tell you today, I would have never struggled with blocking time to get started writing. It has grown my business profitably and I have been able to use my testimony on how God set me free to point to Christ.

So here’s the truth. God sometimes calls people to influence in super-spiritual ways; I am not disputing that. Maybe they have some vision or prophetic word that they will be influencers or they have a call to ministry. And then there is all the rest of us that God just gives this nagging feeling to that won’t go away; that feels more like a desire to start a business that we can share our testimony in a blogs, books, coaching or speaking. For some reason, if it’s a desire then it is so much easier to ignore or think it’s “flesh.”  But here’s the thing. Desires are planted by the Lord, and if your heart is to see people set free, this is just as valid as some mystical experience.

Let me assure you, whether you have strong impressions in prayer, idea’s that you think would help others build success or just that ordinary nagging, won’t go away feeling the way I did; this is the Holy Spirit nudging you to write down your thoughts and processes into a precise form. So, it’s important that you yield to this, the same way you would yield to God asking you to deal with some aspect of your old nature. God leads, we follow.

Why Some People Talk About Transforming Lives But Never Do It

I have noticed that the more people struggle with needing affirmation from others, the longer they talk and don’t take action to pioneer their own thing. After coaching hundreds of people through this process, it boils down to one issue. They are afraid to put their leadership out there for people to inspect because all deep down most of us are scared of getting found out that we are deceiving ourselves, all our hard work will amount to nothing or that worse, people don’t agree with our theology, think we are prideful and slam us publicly. (Been there done that:)

The first year of blogging I did for my business was terrible! I had a friend of mine who was an English teacher go through it them with a red pen, and I cried reading her comments. But here’s the thing. After I kept writing and kept coaching by faith, it helped me define my brand and helped me identify my boldest identity zones. I had so many people tell me that year that my coaching deeply changed them that it confirmed to me I was in the will of God. The bottom line is if God has spoken to you about coaching, writing your programs or even books for speaking, it is now about what God wants to use you for and not whether you feel like developing it or you don’t have time, resources put aside or the confidence.  It’s about you being obedient, activating your faith and stepping into a place and position where you can be used as a conduit for God’s message.

Here Are Five Reason’s To Get Started Writing That Blog, Book Or Course Work

1. Writing a book or developing a training course is about WHO God is sending you to transform.

I believe this is why most people who say, “I’m going to write a book, speak or create a training program someday,” never cast their vision, block time to write and FINISH in a deadline (Because the truth is you can have the never-ending perfectionistic project). It’s because it’s still about them and they are getting spiritual warfare! When you have a revelation that the Lord is trying to activate you to bring him glory, you will find the time to get up at 4 am if you have to write, bump the lunches so you can write while you are at work and otherwise do what you have to do to finish it.  You will be able to push through the fear of the whole thing being a complete failure because you now have become OBEDIENT and now it’s up to God on what to do with it.

2.  Developing your blog, book or course work will force you to identify your BOLDEST IDENTITY zone. This is the place you are most anointed to serve people in.

I just spoke at the Georgia Christian Counselors Association about growing extra income streams for your business. You grow profitably because you stay in the RIGHT ZONES that God has graced you with. Here’s what I see happen again and again. We all have resurrection stories that glorify Christ and lead people to HIM. There is anointing on your testimony because it is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. When you take the time to harness this and give your audience a step-by-step system for break-through, the results are BOLD. It’s because your brokenness is the place God wants to use, not your knowledge. This is why you don’t have to worry about it being too simple or not theologically deep enough. Write about your pure illumination from the Lord and watch how what the enemy meant for evil, God turns for his GLORY!

3.  Writing a book, coaching or developing courses is about God using you now in the small things. In your closest friendships, in your neighborhood, and in your city.

Holy Cow. Don’t even get me started here with the professional speaking friends I have whose big city published books are sitting in their garage affecting NO ONE. You don’t have to be published by supernova Christian book publisher to begin transforming people’s lives. You can start blogging for around $500 or  self-publish your first book like I did and see if it affects people for the kingdom BEFORE you invest $20,000 into a bigger publishing venture. Let’s be clear; your book is about GOD touching people, not fame, fortune and the big bucks you will make. Quit worrying about who will publish it and the cover, layout, and editing. Just get started writing and finish it and God will give you all those steps when you need them.

4. Writing down your strategies will make you such a better communicator. You will feel so thankful that you took that leap of faith to develop your own content and brand. 

There is no better feeling than looking back over the places that Satan has kicked your butt with and getting the satisfaction of seeing the Lord lifted high 100 times for all the ten times that the devil stole from you. WOOT! It’s a beautiful, overcoming, dance in the living room, sing in the car, your victory song! There is something so powerful that happens when you take that thought that has been floating around in your heart and head, and you put it down on paper. It comes to life, and now it can be multiplied. Many times I have written a blog, someone saw it and then invited me to speak on the subject, or they emailed me from halfway around the world telling me it ultimately set them free. It is true that you will magnetize to you what you develop the clarity for, if you share it consistently, it will get even bigger.

5. It will be one of the most fulfilling things you have ever done, and you will look back and THANK GOD for the grace he gave you to get it out of you. 

When I look at the transformation that God has brought my clients through my books, I am so humbled by his grace. Every time I take a new client through my team or use it when I speak,  I pause and say, “Only you Oh, Lord”. And we all know this, but only God can take the simple things and give people profoundly, life-altering deliverance with it. I don’t want ever to be the kind of person who is looking back and wondering what it would have been like to obey God fully. I want the whole adventure. Risk, success, and failure.

Ready to get started developing your vision to transform people for the kingdom? Begin with my START NOW package. I personally follow up with everyone who I send this to you!

Now get started writing!

Love, Bec:)

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